The night is cold and the rain is pounding against my head as I stand here in front of her house. Standing out here in the rain, soaking to the bone… she’s going to think I’m crazy. Maybe I am; I know I am, you got to be crazy to do something like this… I don’t know if I could go through with this. I have to, I need to, and I must. If I don’t, well, its back to the emergency room with another wound to heal up. It’s really coming down now, almost to the point that its still frozen water instead of drops. I should make this quick, but I seriously doubt she’ll have the time to spare for me. She’s more then likely in bed with her fiancé, sleeping because of work, and here I am wondering if I should messy it all up.

I turn to leave, but the porch light sparks to life and I’m standing there like a schmuck with not a dry spot on me. I look down not knowing who it was, but I knew they have already saw me so there’s no point in trying to get away.
“Jeffery? Is that you?” her voice echoes through my head bringing up all these feelings that I find hard to fight.
“Yeah… It’s me.” I struggle to speak up.
“What are you doing out here? Your sopping wet!” she exclaims and begins to lecture me about how I’m going to catch my death out here. I didn’t really pay any mind to it; I’m at the point that death makes me smile now. She invites me in and I quickly oblige.

I stand near the door since it’s the only place that has a hard surface, I didn’t want to mess up her beautiful new home, she tries to get me to come in further but I keep declining and trying to speak my mind at the same time, her concern for my well-being is both a bit shocking and pleasing. I don’t know why I’m shocked by it, we were friends in high school after all, but the way my life’s been going I’ll take any kind of motivational emotion, and that’s why I’m here. I still don’t think she’ll understand it exactly and I know for a fact that her future hubby won’t like it one bit, but she’s all I got left, my one last chance at salvation.

She paces through the house trying to get things in order, get me fresh clothes and worried about her husband. It makes it very difficult to talk to her. I get fed up and grab her by the arm the moment she walks by and I look her into the eyes. I see she’s shocked by my actions but I can’t help it, I hold her still and I pour my heart and soul out at her. Her emotions range between sadness to crying to almost uncontrollable sobbing, and that’s just her. I surprisingly keep an almost straight face, though I do admit… there were a few tears rolling down my cheek as well. But at the end… that’s where it all becomes confusing. I asked her the most bizarre thing a guy could ask a girl who is about to get married.

“Who want me to what?” her question doesn’t surprise me one bit. I was pretty much expecting that reaction.
“I want you… to pretend that you’re my girlfriend, and build me up as such that a girlfriend could only do.” I struggle to get it out the second time.
“I… I don’t know. I mean, I’m getting married in less than a month and you spring this on me?” I grit my teeth, I was kind of hoping she would say yes, but I understand her reaction to it.
“I know and I’m truly sorry for all of it. But… You’re my only chance. Everyone else, I’ve burnt those bridges down a long time ago and I’m paying for it now.” I really do hope she helps me out, I’m lost forever if she doesn’t.

Her silence doesn’t sit well with me, I can tell she really thinking this through. I begin to think about just leaving, making this never happen. I begin to reach for the doorknob but quickly stop when she spoke up. She told me she would agree to do it so long as her soon to be husband is all right with it. I know I’m screwed now, but I try to keep a positive mind to it. Maybe he’s an understanding type of guy and will help out, its not like she’s really going to be my girlfriend, just keep me positive and make it like someone actually cares enough about me in life to be my girlfriend.

After she calls him down and explains what the deal is, he doesn’t seem to have a real happy face about the idea. I try to explain to him there will be nothing physical to it, just emotional build up. He still doesn’t look too happy, but he reluctantly agrees to the whole idea, even though he thinks it will end up badly. I didn’t care; I finally got something to keep me going in life and if all turns out well, then I can move on and let them be. He’s a good guy and I wouldn’t want to do too much in hopes to not break them up. I just need love to keep me going and all she has to do is say she loves me, even if she doesn’t really mean it.

Months past and I got my life started in the right direction, thanks to her and her support. I got a job; I’m saving for a car and already put the down payment for an apartment. Things are looking up for me, but I got one problem… I really do love her now. Hearing her say it everyday, I can’t stop hearing it now, if I do… what would happen? Will my world fall apart and suddenly I’m back to square one? No, she’s married already and loves that man very dearly, I can’t mess that up. I wont mess that up, but I finally got my life in order… I can’t just give up on what I got. What I got was done by me and me alone. Sure she was there with the support, but she wasn’t here giving the customer’s what they want. I made my life, and she helped me. I can move on now from her and I can continue with my life.

I quickly call her up and thank her for all her help, and continue on with my day.